


The Right Man in the Wrong Place

by Spiegatrix_Lestrange



Series: Time and Reylo Dimension in Space [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternative Universe - Doctor who, Companion Kylo, Cybermen - Freeform, F/M, Nerdiness, Science Fiction, Science shenanigans, Spaceships, Spoilers (as River Song would say), TARDIS - Freeform, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Lord Rey, Time Travel, adorkableness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 17:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17923175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiegatrix_Lestrange/pseuds/Spiegatrix_Lestrange
Summary: Kylo Ren is an ordinary man stuck in a boring, ordinary life, or at least he thought so until he wakes up on a mysterious spaceship. Are spaceships even real?I mean, come on!The Scavenger is a Time Lord,, well, she prefers Time Lady, thank you very much, from the long lost planet Gallifrey who just received a quite unexpected distress call on her TARDIS.Will they survive the incoming threat? Why is everything so weird when they're around each other?





	The Right Man in the Wrong Place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpaceWaffleHouseTM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/gifts).



> A special thanks to Autonomee, fellow Whovian and amazing beta :D 
> 
> This fic is a gift to the best Waffle around, who supported me with her very much welcome hype and gave me very precious advice about this :D 
> 
> and here's little cover art I made today, because I have zero self control.
> 
>  

Kylo’s week had been one of the best in his life so far. He finally got promoted at work, his favorite show was about to restart for its final, exciting season, his personal trainer was thrilled by his later results at the gym, he had finally won the auction for that awesome limited edition replica of Aragorn’s sword on eBay and his roommate’s cat had finally learned how to that damn litter.  

 Honestly, what could possibly go wrong?

  _Well…_

Apparently, something actually could, considering that he had no idea of where he was. The place was completely dark and probably covered in metal, considering the weird echo he heard every time he had tried to scream for help.

That space was definitely too tiny to allow him to stand up, he had learned that thanks to the bruise that was surely growing on his forehead.

His phone was currently his only source of light, and even if there wasn’t any reception of any sort, wherever he was, the watch was still working. It has been six hours and twenty minutes since he woke up.

Panic would have been indeed the sanest response to a situation like that, but he was trying to force any kind of feeling out of his system at this point. He needed to be clear-headed, rational, ready for whatever might happen to him.

But _damn_ , that was getting harder and harder by the minute. Kylo had tried his best to keep his mind as busy as possible.

 He had sung in his head every song by Aerosmith he could remember - they _were quite a lot so it took him some time_ -, he repeated at least three times the list of all the British monarchs, in order of course - _pretty weird thing to remember for an American, but still_ -, nothing had changed. Was he going to die here? Damn, breathing properly was getting harder and harder.

 In the exact moment, he was actually considering the possibility of giving up, something weird called his attention. A persistent, muffled sound was reverberating in the small space, the first sound in the last hours except for his voice and his own breath.

 The sound was strident, an acute, continuous screech he couldn’t place, and it was growing louder and louder. What the hell was going on?

 Before Kylo could find the courage to ask out loud, one of the small, metallic walls around him just fell in a loud, deafening thud.

 His eyes needed a moment to readjust to the light, but when they did, he frowned, even more confused.

A girl was looking at him with evident perplexity, head bowed just a little to fit under the low ceiling.

 “Are you alright?” she asked, her tone sounded weird even for a situation like that, and she had a British accent, pretty hard to miss.

 Kylo’s jaw went slack. He was God knows where probably kept as a hostage by God knows who, and there was a thin girl in a trench coat with converse shoes and a bowtie looking at him with calm, curious hazel eyes like that was the most normal situation possible.

 “Where are we?” he asked nervously.

 “A spaceship,” the girl replied without even flinching.

  _Perfect, just perfect._ He has been kidnapped by a crazy person, a British crazy person.

 “Shut up,” he spat, incredulous.

 “You shut up,” she said back promptly, “have you got a name, grumpy?”

 The man clenched his lips.

 “Kylo,”

 “Hello Kylo,” she greeted him with a weird amount of enthusiasm, “I’m the Scavenger,”

 “That’s not a name,” he pointed out.

 “I know that. Do you like being human?” the girl asked almost casually.

 He looked at her like she had grown two heads right in front of him.

 “I guess so,” well, it was not like he had any mean of comparison.

 “Then I need you to come with me, we need to get out of here.”

 And without no further explanation, she was outstretching her hand toward him.

 “Can you run?” she inquired.

 He nodded and a wide grin appeared on her face.

 “Good.”  


 

***

 

  
Kylo was thanking his personal trainer with all his heart right now for suggesting at least one hour of running per day, otherwise, he would have probably struggled to keep the pace of the skinny girl running in front of him.

He was surely heavier, more muscular, but she didn’t seem to break a sweat as they ran through an incredibly long hallway, probably the weirdest hallway he had ever seen.

It looked endless, entirely covered in metal, and there was something incredibly weird in the way his feet hit the floor step after step, like as if the grip, or maybe the bounce wasn’t right.

“You’re doing great for your first time with artificial gravity, grumpy!” the girl complimented him, turning her head to offer him a wide smile.

“Are you kidding me?” he spat with some effort, his breath heavy, “Still the spaceship thing?”

“No kidding, grumpy,” she shot back, “My sense of humor is considered offensive in at least twelve galaxies, I don’t even try anymore.”

“Sure, why not,” Kylo just winched, clearly frustrated, “are we actually going somewhere or you’re just passing some time before your afternoon tea with Spock on Vulcan?”  
  
Surprisingly, the girl who called herself the Scavenger snorted.

“Uh, the snark. I like it.”

Weirdly, Kylo felt the urge to thank her for what was supposed to be a compliment, but he bit his tongue not to. That didn’t make any sense, at all. Where the hell were they, who was she?

He felt compelled to ask her again, but in a second she was pulling him somewhere, her tiny hand grabbing his much bigger one.

The man found himself slammed unceremoniously in an uncomfortably small nook in the wall, what felt like tubes pushing against his back and the thin girl pressed against him, both of them awkwardly compressed in the too small space, face to face, or better, her forehead to his chin. He was a tall man, after all.

“A-are we hiding?” he stuttered, embarrassed by the sudden proximity.

“Shhh,” the Scavenger silenced him, rudely covering his mouth with her hand. Then she wiggled just a little.

“Uh, someone is working out,” she considered almost casually, pushing just one single digit against his firm chest.

“Haven’t you said shhh?” Kylo protested behind her hand.

“Oh, yeah, right, shhh,” she repeated, sealing her mouth shut and focusing her attention outside the nook, back in the corridor.  

Ben was incredibly tempted to protest, but when the corner of his eye caught what was coming, his voice died in his throat.

He wasn’t sure of what he was looking at. Two imposing, hulking figures were walking by the corridor, moving stiffly and with loud, metallic noises. They looked certainly humanoid on a first glance, but it took him just a moment to notice that their bodies seemed made of steel.

_What the hell?_

Even if it took them only a few seconds to pass by them, luckily not noticing their presence, the girl waited another couple of minutes before hitting the hallway again.

“What the hell are those things?” Kylo asked, his voice shaking, eyes still wide.

“Cybermen,” the Scavenger replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “creepy space-assholes in a can. They don’t really like individuality and emotions. Have you got other questions or I can try and save our lives now?”  
  
“So you’re saying that we’ve been abducted by aliens?” The man hissed, incredulous.

“Not exactly. Cybermen are not exactly aliens,” she explained as she started walking again, searching furiously for something in her pocket, “most of them were humans, once.”

“I can assure you, there’s nothing on earth like those things,” Kylo stated, his eyes still wide.

“You’re right, not yet,” she conceded, not even looking at him as she threw a bunch of stuff from the inside of her trench coat, including a rubber duck, a pinwheel, and what looked like a top-secret folder with CIA ominously printed on it. Her furious research finally seemed to end, and her freckled face lightened up instantly as she grabbed something that looked like an elaborated metal stick, probably about ten inches long and with a bright blue light shining on top of it.

The Scavenger looked a bit too excited to see it.

“Oh, here you are, baby,” she muttered fondly, placing a fast kiss on it. Kylo swallowed, trying hard to not make even weirder associations in his already extremely confused brain as he gave her a perplexed look.

“What do you mean by not yet? And what the hell is that?”

“Not yet because it will take them at least three or four decades to do something obvious enough for most people to notice. This?” the Scavenger nodded at the weird stick in her hand, “Sonic Screwdriver,”  
  
Kylo raised his eyebrows, sighing, clearly frustrated. _What the hell was wrong with this person?_

“A Screwdriver?” he repeated, “Are we here to build furniture or something?” But this girl didn’t seem to have any intention of taking things seriously. Even if they clearly weren’t on an alien spaceship - _because come on!_ \- there was certainly no time to waste in silliness.

She pointed at what looked like a sealed, metallic door frame her weird metallic stick, the light on the tip becoming brighter as the intense screeching he had heard a moment before getting free, only a few minutes ago filled his ears again.

“...And now you’re pointing that thing like it’s a damn wand from Harry Potter.” Kylo pointed out, defeated.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” she snorted, as she kept moving that shiny, noisy thing up and down “Wands in Harry Potter are not Sonic Screwdrivers, they’re Psycho-kinetic amplifiers, like antennas, I’m pretty sure of that, I know the author pretty well, and I’ve read all the eighteen books of the saga,”  
  
“Well, if you know J.K. Rowling so well you’ll surely know that the books are just seven,” the man remarked.

“They’re still seven in your time,” the Scavenger suggested, wiggling her eyebrows, giving him a mischievous look, “Joan is in a bit of a writer’s block for now. Too bad. Nice girl though, she makes excellent banana daiquiris. We were in college together in the Andromeda system.”  
  
Kylo could only roll his eyes at this point, he was about to reply when the door finally opened and the girl put back that weird stick in the inside pocket of her trench coat.

As they started walking in the newfound corridor though, he couldn’t help but keep asking, almost irritated.

“You’re saying J.K. Rowling is an alien.”

“Yup,” She replied effortlessly, without a second thought.

“There is no such thing as aliens. There’s no scientific proof, everything we’ve found is frozen bacteria on Mars or something,”

The Scavenger’s brow knitted, almost in disappointment and she stopped in her tracks, facing him.

“Do I look like bacteria to you?” she asked.

“...You’re not an alien.” Kylo state firmly, “I don’t care what kind of conspiracy theory you’re trying to push on me, you’re not an alien.”

“Yes, I am.”  
  
“No, you’re not. You’re a human. You look human.”  
  
“No, grumpy, it’s you who look Time Lord.”  
  
At this point Kylo pinched the ridge of his nose, sighing. He needed to keep it together if he wanted to get out of there with his sanity intact, but maybe it was already too late for that.

“What the hell even is a Time Lord?”  
  
The girl raised goofily her arms, her thumbs pointing at herself as she did an awkward pirouette.

“This is a Time Lord. Well, a Time Lady, but nevertheless.” Her arms lowered, her own index fingers pointing at her face, “Me!”  
  
“You’re not a Time-whatever. You’re clearly a chick from somewhere in England. You got a British accent. Why would an alien have a British accent?”

“Nonsense, I’m not even talking in English right now.” She huffed, “And for your information, I have a very posh Gallifreyan accent, maybe the telepathic field of the TARDIS is giving you the impression I have an accent for some reason.”

 _Excellent_ , she was babbling even more nonsense at this point.

“You’re saying TARDIS like it actually means something,” He huffed.

The Scavenger just rolled her eyes, giving her back to him as she started walking again, too focused on the sudden sharp noise of her stupid stick to pay him attention.

“TARDIS means Time and Relative Dimension in Space, and it’s the name of my ship,” she remarked absently, and Kylo couldn’t believe he was actually still following her, but at this point, what could he do? He was somewhere in a very weird place _\- that definitely wasn’t a spaceship -_ where things that looked like the cheap, stiffer version of the Iron Man walked around. He wasn’t particularly eager to meet them. Even if she wasn’t right, and they weren’t those threatening killing machines as she said, he wasn’t exactly eager to befriend them.  
  
Kylo took a deep breath.

“So you have a ship,” he tried to recap, defeated.

“Yes,”

“Parked inside a spaceship,”  
  
“Yup,”  
  
“And you’re an alien,”

“Mh-Mh,”

“Great, just great,” He hissed, his huge hands covering his face, at this point his frustration was rapidly turning into rage, “listen, can you please stop it?! I have no idea of where I am, I’m confused, and scared, and you’re not helpin- “ His voice died in his throat as he found his eyes stuck on something on the wall, it was just a couple of steps away, and his brain had initially registered it as an abstract painting or something like that, but the more they come closer, the more it appeared for what it was. A window. A square, large window that was projecting in the corridor a weird, dim light that didn’t seem artificial but surely wasn’t natural, it couldn’t be.

Kylo moved forward, ever so slowly now, mouth falling open, eyes wide.

“We’re in space,” he pointed out, his stare lost in the infinite expanse of black, dark blue and purple outside the window. Every star looked brighter from there, and right in the corner of the frame, there was a sphere, a round shape of blue, green and brow, that looked incredibly familiar, accompanied by a smaller one in various shapes of grey.

For some reason his eyes were getting wetter, his heart beating faster than ever before.

“We’re in space,” he repeated.

“I know,” the voice of the Scavenger agreed cautiously, behind him.

“And we’re in a spaceship,” Kylo continued, dumbfounded, out of breath.

“Yes,” she agreed, taking another slow step toward him.

Kylo couldn’t exactly describe the invasive feeling of terror that was shaking his guts, his eyes almost struggling to keep up with all the majesty in front of him. It was indeed scary to be there, millions of miles away from home, the Earth only a small globe at the corner of his eye, but a part of him couldn’t help but feel privileged, in a way. Even if he had no idea of where he was, or why, he couldn’t help but consider that very few people had been lucky enough to see what he was seeing now. His breath was still a mess, and he wasn’t exactly sure if, at this point, the tears threatening to fall from his eyes were tears of joy or fear.

“This is beautiful,” he couldn’t help but murmur, still looking at the stars.

“Of course it is,” the girl’s voice sounded kinder now, her hand landed on his shoulder.

“I still don’t believe you’re an alien, though,” Kylo added, but he wasn’t even sure if it was a joke at this point, it sure sounded like one, he was almost smiling even.

The Scavenger barely held back an amused snort.

“Whatever you say, Grumpy,”

He was about to reply with one of the snarky remarks she seemed to like so much when something started trembling under them.

“What the -” he heard her say, but before any of them could elaborate, the floor opened under them, or maybe not. It was the weirdest sensation Kylo has ever felt. It felt like falling, and being inside a damn blender, the indescribable feeling of being cut into very tiny pieces and glued back together making him incredibly nauseous.

When the whole wave of nonsensical confusion ended quite abruptly, and Kylo found himself on his knees, his breath a mess, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his eyes watering as his stomach seemed to have every intention to drop its content on the floor at any second now.

“What...What the hell…” He barely managed to mumble, his eyes noticing the obnoxious Converse shoe of the Scavenger beside him.

The sight comforted him just a little.

“I need you to rise up very slowly, grumpy,” her voice sounded dangerously serious, “Can you do that?”

Kylo took a deep breath, nodding briefly as his brain kept spinning like a damn dreidel. As he started raising up, ever so slowly, his eyes barely focusing on anything as he kept blinking helplessly, she spoke again, whispering this time.

“And whatever happens, don’t throw up. Our survival might depend on you not throwing up.”

“How?” He murmured back, barely standing, “What do you mean-” his mind went totally blank as finally managed to be aware of their own surroundings.

They were on some kind of platform, now, surrounded by dozens of what the Scavenger have called Cyberman, their metallic bodies turned to look at them, each and everyone identical to the next.

“They teleported us on the main deck,” she explained, keeping her voice low, “Now we have to be extremely cautious, and you need to do exactly what I say.”  
  
“Aren’t they going to kill us anyway?” Kylo asked, his voice shaking,

“Me, yeah. They’re going to turn you into one of them. Humans are compatible.”

“What?” His voice sounded definitely too high-pitched.

“Scavenger!” One of the mechanic voices interrupted them, “The Oncoming Storm, the Great Exterminator.”

Kylo’s brow furrowed helplessly, giving the girl beside him a quite shocked look. Were those titles… Her titles? He had never heard someone calling someone else stuff like that in real life. It was like a Game of Thrones thing. Like Jamie Lannister being the King Slayer or the infinite amount of titles of Daenerys Targaryen. It wasn’t a thing that happened to normal people, but yet again, the Scavenger wasn’t a normal person, for sure, but she still didn’t look like a Great Exterminator. Not at all.

“Destroyer of Worlds,” the Cyberman continued, relentlessly, as he moved forward, “Slayer of Metal,”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, you’ve read my resume,” she replied dismissively, shrugging, “The last one is very cool though. New one? It sounds like a Heavy Metal band or something.”  
  
“Quiet!” The android ordered firmly, “now that you’re here, Scavenger, you’re going to succumb once and for all to-”  
  
“About that,” She interrupted him, almost casually, “I mean, what even am I doing here? Why the fake distress call? Why kidnapping… This guy?” her head pointed almost comically at Kylo.

“We kidnapped your companion,” the metal man explained, his tone expressionless, “The Scavenger always comes, when her companion is in danger.”

“Oh, we’re not,” Kylo stuttered, shaking his head, “We’re not in a relationship, I mean, I’m flattered,” he continued, helplessly, looking at her, “but I barely know you, and-”

“Shut up!” Weirdly, both the Cyberman and the Scavenger silenced him.

“If you know me so well, trash can,” the girl hissed, “you must know that I travel alone now. I haven’t had companions for a very long time, and I never will again.”

“This is only partially correct,” the metal thing remarked, “You will, eventually,”

“Oh, well,” she shrugged, again, “Spoilers are not a very nice thing to do.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” the mechanic voice continued, “there is no future left for you, Scavenger. We’re going to obliterate your threat to our race today.”

“Your race?” the young woman snorted, “This is merely a scout ship, and an old one too, oh, wait,” something awakened in her face, and in a second a wide, somehow cruel smile was lighting up her features, “Oh, this is rich. You’re lost, aren’t you? You’ve been separated from your Mother Ship.”

“Is mocking them a clever thing to do?” Kylo asked weakly.

“It doesn’t matter now,” the Cyberman sounded almost furious at this point, “Thanks to the TARDIS, now we have enough power to get back to the Mother Ship and join again our brothers!”  
  
“Hey, grumpy?” the Scavenger murmured at him as the metallic monster spoke, “can you do me a favor?”  
  
“What?” he swallowed thickly.

“I need you to freak out now. A lot,”

“What?!” he barely managed to keep his voice low, this time, “I thought that remaining calm was essential,”

“No, quite the opposite,” she insisted, “Just freak out, get a panic attack, I don’t know. Fake it if you have to. Just don’t throw up,”

Kylo took a deep breath. Now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t help but ask himself how he was feeling so calm. Well, not exactly calm, but in control. He was in space, on a spaceship, surrounded by monsters, and yet his mind was somehow capable of handling all that. That was surprising all by itself, but at this point, the only thing he could do was to listen to the Scavenger. Somehow she seemed to know what was going on, he had not much choice left.

“Oh- Oooh” He exclaimed, awkwardly raising his long arms and shaking them in the air, “I don’t want to die! Please, spare me!”

“You’re not convincing at all,” the girl beside him whispered, “I mean, they have no empathy left, but damn, we need a bit more effort here.”

Kylo just rolled his eyes.

“OHH NOOO!” He screamed, louder, “I’M SO SCARED, PLEASE, SPARE ME!”

“The human is clearly useless this way,” one of the Cybermen proclaimed, “he must be Cyber-converted!”  
  
“What?!” Kylo squealed.

“They have a bit of a problem with emotions,” the Scavenger explained simply, “they really don’t like them, it’s okay, trust me!”

“Take him to the platform of conversion! And you, Scavenger, you’re going to watch.”

“What?!” Kylo barely recognized his own voice.

“Trust me,” she murmured to him, as they both were grabbed and dragged away, “Everything is going to be fine, just get ready.”

“For what?”  
  
“Trust me, you’ll know,”

 

***  


The Conversion platform was a large square of blue light in the middle of a circular room. When they got there, roughly escorted by their captors, Kylo wasn’t pretending anymore as he kicked and screamed to be released. Needless to say, those things had quite a iron grip, and any attempt to free himself ended up being quite useless.

As they threw him on the luminous platform, his breath was shaky, his legs a wobbly mess, barely keeping him standing.

“Now watch, Scavenger, as your companion lose any trace of weak, disgusting humanity,” one of the Cybermen declared proudly, the light of the platform growing stronger.

“I don’t think so!” Kylo needed a moment to realize what was going on, but as his eyes glued on the Scavenger, she was twisting her Sonic Screwdriver in her hands, pointing it at the faces of every Cyberman in her way, stunning them or something, as she ran in his direction.

“Now!” she screamed at him.

“Now what?”  he shouted back.

“NOW!”

He took the hint a little too late, because now, out of nowhere she was jumping on him. Normally, considering his strength and body structure, he could have scooped someone as thin as her up without a problem, but his footing wasn’t strong enough right now, and as he awkwardly grabbed her by her waist, her legs were already encircling his hips, one arm around his neck like a monkey climbing a tree, they both ended up on the floor in a messy, embarrassing tangle of limbs.

Kylo was about to protest, but he remained speechless as he found the Scavenger’s face in front of his, very, very close.

It was weird, but somehow he hadn’t noticed until now how pretty she was. Now that she was that close, he could see the generous amount of golden freckles dusting her cheeks and her pointy, little nose, and the long, curved lashes around her big hazel eyes.

“I need you to kiss me, grumpy,” her words almost stunned him.

“What?” He swallowed thickly.

“Trust me,” as she spoke, looking weirdly serious for her usual standards.

Her Sonic Screwdriver was pointing on the floor beneath his back, the constant screeching sound definitely unpleasant, so close to his ear.

 _Well, what the heck_. It was not like the last seven hours of his life had made any kind of sense, so why start now?

He couldn’t believe himself as he closed his eyes, his head moving forward a bit more awkwardly than he hoped. His long nose hit her cheekbone a bit too forcefully, but she hummed in approval as their lips finally merged together.

It was supposed to be a meaningless, silly kiss between strangers, but somehow it didn’t feel like it at all. Her lips were ridiculously soft, and she was kissing him as if she meant it, no shame, no shyness, her free hand finding its way in his long black hair.

Her whole frame was melting against his, her breath growing a bit harsher, resembling his own, and when he ended up barely opening his mouth, following his instinct, he found the tip of her tongue there, waiting a bit too eagerly at the seam of his lips.

_Well, that was a hell of a fake kiss._

Kylo was so taken at this point that he barely registered the mechanical sounds of distress around them, and the clash of metal loudly hitting the ground.

As she finally, and unfortunately, moved her head back, breaking the kiss, they were looking at each other with wide eyes, both breathless.

“Good job,” she muttered, almost jumping on her feet.

“Thanks?” Kylo struggled a little to figure out what happened, he just realized a minute too late that the sound of the Sonic Screwdriver had stopped, and now the Cybermen around him were mostly on the ground, some of them convulsing, others emitting weird noises that almost sounded like whines.

“I told you they really don’t like feelings,” the Scavenger quipped innocently, clearing her throat.

“What the hell just happened?” He blurred out confusingly, taking a second to stand up.

“The Cybermen are all connected,” she explained, walking down the platform and gesturing him to follow, “from the moment you ended up on that platform, you gained access to their shared neural net. They’re engineered to be emotionless, heartless sociopaths, their system can’t handle feelings, so as they tried to download in you their lack of emotions, I used the Screwdriver to invert the process, downloading your emotions into them, and well…”  
  
She just pointed around her, shrugging.

“That’s the reason for the kiss? “He asked really hoping that his face didn’t look as hot as he felt.

“Yup,”

“Is that also the reason why you didn’t want me to throw up?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

“Of course it is. No matter if our lives depend on it, I can’t bring myself to kiss someone who just threw up,” She replied, making a face.

Kylo was smiling, despite himself.

“That… That was really clever,” he admitted, his mouth struggling to not go slack. He really didn’t want to offer her his dumbest, more shocked expression, but it was quite hard at this point.

“Yup, I know,” The Scavenger didn’t even try to look humble, offering him her cockiest smile, “Now we need to go though, we don’t have much time until their systems restart.”

“Where are we going?” Kylo asked.

She gave him a wide, heartwarming grin.

“To the TARDIS, of course.”

 

***  
  
  
If Kylo’s mind hadn’t been blown enough for one day, he was looking now at the most impossible thing in his life so far, and the last few hours had really lifted the bar.

One moment, he was walking toward a ridiculously out-of-place Police Box from the twenties, following that weird girl. The next, he was walking through the blue wooden door, to find in front of him what looked like the inside of a giant, futuristic spaceship, a column he could only consider made of glass and light in the middle of what was probably the main bridge.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” he only managed to murmur, shocked.

“Is it? I’ve never noticed,” the Scavenger almost sounded sarcastic for some reason as she walked toward what looked like the console, pushing affectionately a couple of buttons.

“Hello, sexy,” She purred, clearly talking to the ship, “did you miss me?”

As if that thing was answering to her, the light inside the glass column moved slightly, the room filling with a strident, repetitive noise.

“This is...A spaceship,” Kylo only found the strength to murmur, eyes still wide as he struggled to take everything in.

“Yup,” she just nodded.

“And you’re an alien.”  
  
“Correct, again,” the Scavenger just replied dismissively, “where do you live, Kylo?”

She was weirdly serious, now, again, and her weird tone as she focused on a small panel on top of the console almost worried him.

“Queens, New York. Why?”

She knitted her brow as she gave him an inquisitive look, taking a couple of steps toward him.

“Any unusual circumstances in your life? Was this your first abduction?” The Scavenger was pointing at him her Sonic Screwdriver now, probably scanning him or something

“Of course it was my first abduction! It doesn’t happen every day to be abducted by aliens!” he protested, pushing away the weird metal stick from his face.

“You’d be surprised,” she mumbled, her eyes glued to the Screwdriver, maybe looking for results of some kind.

“Anyway, there’s nothing unusual about me. My life is boring. I grew up in foster care, I’m still paying for my student loans, I work as a programmer for a car sharing app,” Kylo just shrugged, “I’m just a regular guy,”

“Mh,” the Scavenger didn’t look convinced, “then why you?”

“Why me, what?” 

“The Cybermen said you will travel with me, but I traveled alone, I’ve been traveling alone for a very long time, and I have no intention to have someone with me anytime soon.”

She almost sounded sad as she spoke, and Kylo couldn’t help but aks.

“Why?”

The girl just shrugged, walking back to the console.

“I’ve lost someone,” she explained almost casually, clearly trying to make the statement sound as light as possible, “I was supposed to take care of him, but something happened and I lost him.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Kylo ended up muttering, awkwardly, “was he your… Significant other?”

“No, no, God, no,” she shook her head, “he was just a baby,” her voice sounded distant, lost in memories that must have been quite painful, “I was his godmother. I was supposed to take care of him.”

Somehow, the pain he was seeing in her was echoing with his own, the loneliness of growing up alone, how much was hard for him to let someone get close, even as an adult.

“Nobody deserves to be alone,” he muttered, his eyes on his shoes, his hands clenched into fists in his pockets.

“Well, nobody is safe with me,” the Scavenger pointed out, sounding hurt.

Kylo was searching desperately for something to reply, something good enough to comfort her when a weird sound caught the attention of them both.

Knock knock. Someone was knocking on the door of the TARDIS.

“Is this normal?” he asked, clearly confused.

“Not at all,” She admitted, furrowing her brow as she sprinted toward the door, “We’re traveling through time and space right now, nothing can knock on the- “ she had barely opened the door, grabbing whatever was outside when she stopped speaking. As she closed the door behind her there was something quite unexpected in her hand, Kylo moved closer.

“Mh…” The Scavenger looked surprised. _Well, that was a first,_ he thought.

Before he could peak and take a look at the unusual object, she clutched it to her chest, offering him a suspicious smile.

“You know what? It’s been a long day, grumpy,” she suggested, “why don’t you take some rest while I take you home? There are a couple of guest rooms in the west wing, down that corridor.”

 

***

  
The Scavenger has always been a hard woman to surprise, at least since she had got past puberty almost four centuries ago, and yet that has been indeed a quite surprising day.

With the nosy, cute human finally sleeping, she sneaked in the main library to take a look at that weird VHS. Yes, weird, even if there was not many things she could call weird in her existence at this point, that small plastic thing surely was.

The small white tag on the front had only a few words written on it.

 

 **Heddwyn Einar**  

 **  
** **Look privately ;)**

 

The name didn’t ring any bell. _Again, weird._

She put it in the VHS reader George Michael had gifted her back in the nineties, after their second tour on Betelgeuse together, and waited for the video to start.

After a couple of seconds, a disturbingly familiar face appeared on the screen.

It was Kylo. A slightly older Kylo. He looked still quite young but he sure looked tired, there were a couple of grey strands in his hair, and a long scar cutting his cheekbone and part of his forehead.

He wasn’t wearing the lame grey hoodie he was wearing now, but a leather coat and a black button-down shirt.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he started speaking, and his voice sounded soft and affectionate, his tone making her shiver a little, _again, weird_ , “ I know that this messes up the whole _No Spoilers_ rule, but it’s important, I swear. If my calculations are correct, you just picked me up, and I’m currently sleeping in one of your guest rooms right now.”

The Scavenger raised her eyebrows, _yup_ , that was definitely new.

“I know you really want to drop me home at this point, but whatever happens, don’t. I know how hard it is for you, I know how guilty you feel for Leia, Han, and especially for Ben, but listen, we need to be together. It’s crucial for us to not be separated. Horrible things will happen if we do. We need each other.”  
  
_Okay_ , now her surprise was rapidly turning into shock.

“This is my third attempt, I’ve already been through this two times, and it never ends well. Keep me with you. Please. Remember why you choose your name. A scavenger is someone who finds beauty and purpose in what other people find worthless. Do as I say, Rey, please,”

Both her hearts almost stopped as she heard him pronounce that name.

How could that be possible? Nobody was allowed to know that name. Time Lords exchanged their true name just in one, very specific circumstance.

When they married.

She realized she was crying only when she felt her cheeks getting incredibly wet. She remembered exactly the last time she had cried, it had been a very long time ago, the day in which she lost Han and Leia’s child.

“And now, since you like it so much,” Kylo’s voice was almost mocking her as he raised on his feet, taking off his coat, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the camera, “my famous sexy dance, maybe this will give you another reason to keep me around.”

“Nononono!”

As a weird, dorky song started to play in the background, the Scavenger found herself blushing furiously.

Gosh, when was the last time she blushed?

She was pushing the pause button when she realized that she was smiling.

After a long moment of pondering, she bit her lower lip, still smiling like a dork, and just shrugged.

“Oh, what the hell,”

Her index finger landed on the Play button again.

  


***  
  
  
Kylo had just awakened from the deepest sleep of his life, realizing with shock that all that had happened to him in the last few hours hadn’t been a dream.

He walked toward the main bridge of that weird ship cautiously, afraid that, if he might have accidentally hit the wrong thing, it would have ended up with Hitler winning World War Two or with telepathic hamsters ruling the word.

As he entered the command room the Scavenger was just sitting there, on the floor, legs crossed and a pensive look on her face.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, gingerly.

She actually seemed to startle at his words, probably involved in some very complicated thought before he interrupted her.

“Yeah,” she replied, jumping on her feet, “everything’s fine, perfect, excellent.”

“...So, you’re taking me home, now?” Kylo didn’t even know why his voice sounded so sad as he asked.

The Scavenger looked almost torn for a long moment, she worked her jaw, touching almost causally a couple of buttons on the console.

“You know what, grumpy?” she asked after a while, “When was the last time you went on vacation?”

The smile that appeared on Kylo’s face was so big that it almost hurt his cheek.

“Anywhere in time and space?” He asked.

“Anywhere in time and space.,” the girl confirmed, smiling back.

Kylo’s eyes indulged on the glass tube in front of him, the engine purring almost comfortingly. He could totally get used to that.

“Surprise me,” he just declared.

The Scavenger gave him the widest, brightest grin he had ever seen.

“Oh, grumpy. I surely will, trust me.”

  


END OF PART 1

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see I've taken a bit of liberty about the whole "Name of the Doctor" thing. Honestly, I'm just not skilled enough to write something like the Silence and make it half as beautiful as it is in the series, so I decided to use the whole name thing as a bit of a plot device. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed what you just read :) The plan is to make this little silly thing as the first part of a series, so if you like that idea please leave kudos and a comment down here, your feedback feeds the heart of the TARDIS!


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